Post by PrinceJay on Oct 15, 2004 17:35:18 GMT 8
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a
ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest
couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate,
burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and
exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one
ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes
in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm
ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "... And are you sure you love me
and
no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list
again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the
sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we
need it but the sun gives us light only in the day
time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who
keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my
father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my
father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating
a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my
recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records
show that nine out of ten people die of the
disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got
married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only
chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe
in is hand."
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a
ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest
couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate,
burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and
exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one
ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes
in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm
ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "... And are you sure you love me
and
no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list
again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the
sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we
need it but the sun gives us light only in the day
time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who
keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my
father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my
father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating
a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my
recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records
show that nine out of ten people die of the
disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got
married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only
chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe
in is hand."